TRUE STORY: THE STRUGGLE TO EARN GOD’S LOVE
Thank God It’s another Sunday!
A lot of times, we struggle to comprehend how unconditional God’s love for us is. And so we find ourselves constantly trying unsuccessfully to earn it with our actions.
Emma Puloka, a young Christian lady who went through this experience, shared her story at CRU.
Here’s her story below.
Life can be messy. Slowly you learn to hide the mess inside, where no one else can see. Just you. And don’t forget to smile, they’re watching.
That was how I thought for a long time, even as a Christian.
I put my trust in Jesus to save me back in 2003. Despite this, I had a lot of lust, emotional chaos, pride and fear that were so rooted in me, and I hid it all. But I thought I could balance my dark thought life with a super bright outward life, so I formed a resume to prove it.
I was a top student, head girl prefect, involved in Christian clubs, in sports, the whole lot.
I was always trying to make sure I had the approval from others that I feared I didn’t really have from God.
I did have a genuine relationship with God, but there were areas of my mind that I thought He couldn’t handle. So instead of giving them to Him, I walked around with a burden of guilt… and a masking smile.
When I put my trust in Jesus years ago, I knew I had received that gift.
But in 2008, I heard more about this grace that completely changed my understanding. For the first time, I genuinely understood that at the cross, where Jesus died for my sin, everything that’s wrong with us was put on Jesus, and Jesus’ perfection was put on us.
I read 2 Corinthians 5:21 and it blew my mind!
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
All my bright and shiny actions didn’t earn this love – God loved me before I had a chance to try and earn it.
God’s love helped me find rest.
Later down the road, God helped me to share my struggles with other Christians who prayed hard for me and I saw God deliver me in a mighty way. I learned that His grace can handle all of me. And each day God continues to shape my heart as I experience and understand more deeply His approval and unchanging love for me in Christ.
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