MY SPOUSE CHEATED. SHOULD I GET A DIVORCE?
In the bible, Jesus says you are allowed to divorce your partner if he or she is guilty of adultery.
3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (Mathew 19:3-9)
Lots of people have used this scripture as a basis for getting a divorce from an unfaithful partner – and rightfully so.
However, Jesus says when adultery has taken place, a divorce can be obtained, not MUST be obtained.
So don’t be too quick to start packing your bags or calling a divorce lawyer just because they cheated.
Don’t get me wrong, I am no way in support of cheating. In fact, I have so little tolerance for it, I am yet to continue with a relationship where my boyfriend cheated.
But that’s boyfriend.
Marriage is a totally different ball game.
When you marry someone, you made vows to stay together for better, for worse. Till death do us part.
Meaning the only thing that should make you decide to get a divorce should be something life threatening.
Like domestic violence – either from the man or from the woman.
Or constant infidelity – because you don’t want the person to go transfer some deadly disease to you.
That being said, the fact that your husband or your wife cheated on you once is no reason for you to rush out of the marriage, because…
We stumble and fall, but we can get up again.
The question you should ask yourself before considering divorce is that; is this a one off sin or is it a recurring habit? Is it a brief stumble or is he is she rolling comfortably on the ground, an unrepentant adulterer.
70 x 7
The same Jesus who said you could divorce on the grounds of infidelity also says that you should forgive whoever offends you 77 times.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to stay on in the marriage – you can forgive but still choose to leave. Neither does staying back mean you’ve actually forgiven the person – some married couples carry grudges against each other till their deathbeds.
Forgiveness means cleansing your heart of any ill feeling or grudge towards your partner about what they did.
Whether or not you chose to continue the marriage, it is very important you find it in your heart to forgive your cheating spouse.
Both for your own emotional wellbeing and for your salvation.
Every cut can be healed.
Being cheated on is a painful experience which can leave you feeling deeply traumatized.
But no matter the depth of the cut, you can be healed.
Thankfully we have a great physician who is rooting for us and our marriages. Go to Jesus with your wounds and by His stripes, you will be healed.
May God give everyone going through challenges in their marriages the wisdom and strength to fight it through.
What’s your own take on divorce? Drop your comments below.
See you tomorrow for our TGIS post – Thank God It’s Sunday!