If I were food,
I would be an egg. Hard on the outside, mush on the other side.
If I were an insect, I’d be a ladybug, coz this lady can also sting like a bug.
If I were a gadget, I’d be a Samsung Galaxy S4. Because I can read eyes
If I were a celebrity. I’d be Tyler Perry.
Yeah, Tyler Perry. Not just because he
is godly and smoking hot…I rephrase- not just because he
is godly and smoking hot and owns an island, but because from being
the son of a carpenter, like my Lord Jesus,
he became an internationally successful man who owns an island.
Oh, oh, oh, Did I mention he also, owns an island?
If I were a movie, I will not be a chic flick, a horror flick, or a Nollywood flick,
I’d be an action comedy – flick.
With just enough adrenaline pumping suspense to keep you on your toes and
More than enough fun, to give you more than enough nights, of more than a thousand laffs.
On a given weekend I could be PG13 in the morning with your folks,
18 in the evening with your friends, and X, Y, Z rated when it’ just us.
With candle lights. Listening to soft jazz.
By Louis Armstrong or Ella Fitzgerald or Jerald – never did know the right pronunciation.
If I were an animal, I would be a cat.
Coz I’ve been knocked over so many times but somehow,
somehow, I always seem to land on my feet, well
sometimes on my knees. With nasty scratches.
Deep cuts. Ugly bruises.
From attempting to land on my back but failing.
Arms flailing, I fall.
Tears mingling with blood notwithstanding, I get up wiping,
my eyes with the sandy hands that helped break the fall and i put myself out there again
I’d be a cat because, I’ve fallen,
in love, lust, infatuation, and all the names it’s been called.
So many times breaking, my neck, legs, collar bone, 11 ribs, 6 fingers, 9 joints,
32 of my 33 vertebrae and one big heart!
Died and went to heaven, came back, died again and went to heaven again,
and came back again and repeated the circle again so many times,
that I’m afraid, that I may soon, run out of my nine lives.
But then, I guess I’ll just re-incarnate and be born again,
as a, brand new cat, complete with nine lives and one trusting heart
But that – is for another life, in this life however,
in this life I’ve got just one life left.
And I’m done playing lotto with it.
Done playing the friends with benefits game.
Or the, we just having fun game.
Or the, two can play the game, game.
Done playing with fake lovers and dirty players who make me cry,
turning to God in prayers, and asking him why,
why always me? Why I so make the wrong choices.
Why I get attracted to someone who isn’t attracted to me,
while he is attracted to someone who is totally wrong for him,
and someone else is strongly attracted to me
but I just can’t get myself to feel any attraction for him.
Finally I said enough.
I swam out of that Bermuda triangle to the river bank of wisdom.
Came to the shore of being sure of myself and what I wanted.
Which is simply that if he was an animal…
He would be a dog. No not that kinda dawg,
the man’s best friend, kinda dog.
Loyal, faithful, protective.
This cat and dog would create beautiful rain together.
He would be a bird. So I would always, always, always want a piece of him.
He would also be a cat, but a much bigger cat, a tiger.
With a strong heart and mind.
He would be a tortoise, wiser than I am in donkey years