Kitchen, Living Room, Other Room, Palaver.

Image result for buhari kitchen other room

After our president went on international TV to say that his wife’s place was in his living room, his kitchen and his bedroom, the internet went into a frenzy.

Women were ranting, some men were laughing, everyone had something or the other to say about his comment.

The issue of whether or not a woman’s place is in the kitchen (and #TheOtherRoom) has been a controversial one for numerous centuries globally, and numerous decades nationally.

Since women started having careers outside the home, going to work everyday either voluntarily or out of necessity, they began questioning society’s demand that their primary office should still remain the kitchen.

Nigerian feminists on twitter especially, have no chill for anyone who tries to tie an apron round their neck. If I hear?

However, what does the bible say about a woman and the kitchen?

Do you remember this story?

38 Now as they went on their way, Jesus[a] entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. 39 And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” 41 But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, 42 but one thing is necessary.[b] Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42 ESV.

Meet Martha and Mary

Image result for mary and martha

Two sisters with the same upbringing, in the same society, but with two different values. Martha loves the kitchen and everything domestic. She likes to cook, be a good hostess, and do everything a woman ought to do. Mary on the other hand, just wanted to be at “where e dey happen”. She was a social butterfly, positioning herself in the thick of things, not wanting to miss out on anything – especially when it has to do with Jesus.

Most importantly, her actions were driven by the things she had a passion for.

Funny enough, this was one similarity between herself and her sister Martha. They were both driven women, actively pursuing their different passions. 


So na wetin cause the fight?

girls black fight


When people or society start expecting you to act a certain way or do certain things because that is what they think you should be doing.

Martha expected Mary to be in the kitchen with her, help in serving the guests, be domestic. Mary on the other hand was having none of it. She had more important interests to pursue at the moment, and being in the kitchen was not on her list of priorities.

And guess what?


They were both right.

Image result

Every individual, male or female, has the right to pursue whatever it is that floats his or her boat. No one should dictate to the other, how they think he or she should live his or her life.

Sadly, the society gives men a longer rope than women. And by the society, i mean both the men and women in it. You’ll be surprised at the large chunk of women who still believe a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Training their daughters differently from theirs sons, because she will marry one day and resume her office in the kitchen.

There’s nothing wrong with believing your own place is in the kitchen, but it is not your place to tell someone else where her place is.


So, Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury…

judging you lucille bluth

Leave the woman alone in whatever room she chooses to be.

It’s her choice. It’s her life.

Mr. Traditional Man, if you think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, fine. Simply find yourself a woman who also thinks the same way and you will both be happy ever after.

Ms. Traditional Woman, if you think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, fine. Sit your pretty bum near the stove and stop pointing fingers at those not in the kitchen. Face your food before it burns.#MYOB.

For those ladies who choose to pull a Mary on the world and pursue passions outside the kitchen, fine. Just put your earplugs in, block-out the naysayers, and do your own thing sister!


What do you think about the kitchen/other room debate? Was President Buhari right or wrong?




Tank driving, cheeky amazon from Warri Kingdom. Copywriter by day, blogger by night, foodie round the clock.

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9 Responses

  1. Tuoyo Arueyingho says:

    I like the position of this write up. it respects the right of every man to take any side that suits and satisfy him or her. Good write up, balanced position. Respect.

  2. Aimuan says:

    My point exactly. Make the person choose em path. People are addicted to picking sides and down talking the perceived opposition. I feel it is a little glitch ( i call it the dualist glitch) in human kind’s reasoning. Humans tend to always want to be right by making someone else wrong while in reality, there are no sides really, only choices.

  3. Miss Sarangae says:

    I agree that we tend to make a point by trying to make someone else wrong. In my opinion chores like cooking cleaning etc are certain life skills that should be taught to everyone. Especially in this day of many diasporas, you don’t know when you’ll leave home and suddenly wish you knew how to look after yourself without relying on someone else to do it.

    • Orode says:

      True point. I believe if you like to eat fish, then you should either know how to catch it, or have the money to pay people to catch it for you. If life throws you a curve ball and you suddenly find yourself in a situation where you need certain skills to survive but you don’t have them, then like the saying goes “Necessity is the mother of invention”…

  4. Folake says:

    Simply lovely. In life each one should play their role ..whether you choose to be in he kitchen or the other room is a matter of choice. The fact that you are right does not necessary mean the other party is wrong….It may simply be the other right option. Stop the judging and let’s live

    • Orode says:

      That is the koko. Rather than going about prescribing to other people how they should live their lives, we should all focus on living our own the best way we know how.

  1. July 5, 2017

    […] Not all girls are destined to be domestic and not all boys are destined not to be. […]

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